10. “Hot Child in the City”
What a horrible song! It’s about a young, underage prostitute, from what I can discern—and human trafficking is the cause closest to my heart, so you’d think I’d hate the song. But it was playing during our honeymoon date as we got lost in the city, and we were giggling (I had a bit to drink; my husband, driving, had not, and was more frustrated than amused at our lack of direction), and I didn’t even pay attention to the lyrics.
9. “Cherry Pie”
Yet another song about a young girl, this ‘80s anthem is like “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” or “You’re My Kind.” It’s so sexy that you just want to ignore the fact that it’s about a girl who isn’t legal, and you wish that you really could.
8. “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue”
I cannot stand Tobey Keith, or much of country music in general, and I can’t play this song…anymore. But following 9/11, I have to admit that I found comfort in this song and it’s line, “We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way.” I cringe to think that I ever liked that, or the rest of the song; I wasn’t pro-war, after all; it was kind of like telling a bully that your dad could beat up his dad, I guess, even though you’d never want it to happen.
7. “Need You Now”
This song is super hot these days, and it’s catchy. I sort of like it because of the beat and the singing… yet, I cannot stand the whole drunken sexual dependency that seems to exist in 2/3 of country music songs. It may as well be called “Boozy Booty Call.”
Crazy Town’s song was a big hit when I was in high school and I loved jamming to it in the car. That said, some of the lyrics are downright awful, such as “the smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me.” Yeah, that’s the kind of guy I want.
5. “She Bop”
Cyndi Lauper. Masturbation. What else do you need to know? Honestly, that woman could sing about owl pellets and I’d probably love it.
4. “Feva for the Flava”
If you’re familiar at all with this song by Hot Action Cop, you know exactly why I’m ashamed to say that I love this song…but will never play it in front of my daughter.
3. “Semi-Charmed Kinda Life”
From oral sex to drug use, this very innocent-sounding song with its upbeat, catchy sound was actually something that our chaperones should have thought twice about playing during school dances. The same goes for AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long,” actually, which is another one of my absolute favorite songs, ever.
2. “You Oughta Know”
I will always adore this Alanis Morisette from my teen years, even though it contains some very explicit lyrics—including a reference of possible statutory rape.
1. “Sweet Home Alabama”
Lynard Skynard’s ode to Alabama has such racist overtones that it makes me wish I hated it sooooo badly… But I loved it long before I knew that; I’m a Midwesterner, and we play it at every single family reunion, wedding, you name it around here. It doesn’t excuse my love for the song, but I can’t deny that I love it, either.